Love Song

by Rainer Maria Rilke


How can I keep my soul in me, so that
it doesn't touch your soul? How can I raise
it high enough, past you, to other things?
I would like to shelter it, among remote
lost objects, in some dark and silent place
that doesn't resonate when your depths resound.
Yet everything that touches us, me and you,
takes us together like a violin's bow,
which draws one voice out of two separate strings.
Upon which instrument are we two spanned?
And what musician holds us in his hand?
Oh sweetest song.

***********

This could be the single greatest poem that I have ever read.

One Book...

...that changed your life:
A Soldier of the Great War, Mark Helprin

...you've read more than once:
Oliver Button is a Sissy, Tomie dePaola

...you'd want on a desert island:
The Little Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupery

...that made you laugh:
The Secret Life of Bees, Sue Monk Kidd

...that made you cry:
The Kite Runner, Khaled Hosseini

...you wish you had written:
The Life You Save May Be Your Own, Paul Elie

...you wish had never been written:
The New Friend, Charlotte Zolotow

...you're currently reading:
Letters to a Young Catholic, George Weigel

...you've been meaning to read:
Anna Karenina, Leo Tolstoy



You're all welcome to do this survey...just post it in the comments section.

from Vitus Speaks:

1. Favorite devotion or prayer to Jesus
The Psalms

2. Favorite Marian devotion or prayer
The Rosary

3. Do you wear a scapular or medal?
Yes, a scapular medal actually

4. Do you have holy water in your home?
Yes

5. Do you "offer up" your sufferings?
I try

6. Do you observe First Fridays and First Saturdays?
Fridays yes; not always Saturdays

7. Do you go to Eucharistic Adoration? How Frequently?
Yes; every week (at least at school)

8. Are you a Saturday evening Mass person or a Sunday morning Mass person?
Usually Sunday

9. Do you say prayers at mealtime?
Yes

10. Favorite saints
Lots of Biblical figures (David, Isaac, Rebecca, etc.), Thomas Aquinas, Elizabeth Ann Seton, Cecilia (the last two my patrons)

11. Can you recite the Apostles' Creed by heart?
Yes

12. Do you usually say short prayers (aspirations) during the course of the day?
I try

13. Bonus Question: When you pass by an automobile accident or other serious mishap, do you say a quick prayer for the folks involved?
Yes; my mom taught me to say a 'Hail Mary.'


hmm...I don't know who else is currently reading this blog anymore, but I'll try to tag John Hall...

U2 at the 2002 Super Bowl

Thanks to YouTube, I can finally watch this again after four years. I still remember the first time I saw it. It is perhaps the most powerful and moving live performance ever:

Well, I was waiting for Rocco Palmo (see link to the side) to post his "Churchman of the Year," but it seems to be delayed. I guess then for the news of the day I'll just say that I can't believe that Rolling Stone chose Crazy by Gnarls Barkley as the best song of 2006. I mean, really. Where's Far Away? Or Waiting on the World to Change?

As for iTunes' opinion, the best songs were: (best seller) Bad Day (ugh) and (staff favorite) again, Crazy. But, the best selling albums were The Fray, How to Save a Life, and John Mayer, Continuum. If anyone cares, the staff favorite in the album department was Eyes Open, by Snow Patrol.

Anyway, I'll be interested to see how the Grammys play out. They got it right last year, giving U2 their proper due, but we'll see what happens this year with John Mayer and his five nominations. No-one deserves recognition more, for his stellar album Continuum.

As always, stay tuned and God Bless.

Happy New Year!

I wish you all a blessed and fulfilling 2007 with all the graces you need to live the year intensely.

Stay tuned for news of the day...

Another Year Has Gone By

I've really meant to update more often, but haven't been doing very well. I'm on break until the January 22, so hopefully I'll get some more posts up. I will try to write something a few times a week, even if it's just a random bit of news that caught my interest.

So, tomorrow is 2007, and as always, I'm amazed at how fast the year has gone, and how much it has brought. I did make it through my first semester of college, and I'm looking forward to next semester, though my break is fantastic so far.

Well, if I'm true to my word, I'll be writing soon. And as for my bit of striking news for today, I was looking at the Parade magazine in the newspaper and I think that little Suri Holmes-Cruise might be the most beautiful baby in the world.

God Bless.

With Gratitude

I know this is a day late, but with the Thanksgiving spirit in mind, I'd like to say thank you to all the amazing people in my life...and I hope you know who you are.

My family, and all my friends in Wichita; all my friends at UD, especially the Catherine girls and 'The Bucket,' and the great professors who have made my learning experience so worthwhile. I can't believe it's been three months since I started school there, but I have come to love being there and learning there, and even now, being at home for Thanksgiving (Yay!!!) I realize that I miss it.

But the funny thing is, I don't miss it enough to wish I was back there. I mean, if I learned one thing this past semester, it is that there is nowhere I'd rather be than right here at home. And no matter how amazing UD is, it will never be home to me as this place is home...until, I guess, I have my own home and family, which is what I desire above everything else, even a college degree. But for me, college is the step that comes before that, and because college is my vocation right now, I will live the moment.

So again, thanks to you all, and many blessings in the approaching Advent season.

And Happy Birthday to Bridget, one of the most amazing people I know!

God Bless.

Wow...I didn't realize that it had been so long since I last updated, probably because I didn't realize how busy schoolwork was going to keep me. About school, though: it's going really well, and I can't believe that it's over halfway through the semester. Hopefully if things work out, I'll be home for Thanksgiving, and then only a couple more weeks until the end of the semester.

It's been such a rewarding experince all around, and every day I encounter something new and beautiful in the people here, or in talking to people back home, or in just keeping my eyes open to the beauty of life.

So I can't promise that I will be able to write more often, but I just want to say that I miss everyone back home, and I can't wait to see them! I haven't looked forward to something so much in a long time.

And I'll leave you with a quote:

"There are millions of people in this world. But in the end, it all comes down to one."

An Encounter

I really mean to update more frequently, but that last post I thought I had posted last Tuesday, when I wrote it, but for some reason it didn't get up there until today. But do read it if you're interested in the Nacogdoches CL Family Vacation.

As for college life and classes, it's all going very well and much more smoothly. I'm getting the hang of things and feeling more at home, though being away from home is still hard. But thank you all for all of your prayers and letters and everything--none of it has gone unnoticed.

This morning a group of us from UD went to an abortion clinic in Dallas to pray, and it was an amazing experience. With the excitement of school I had forgotten how much I love going out and interacting with other groups of people, like this, or at the Lord's Diner, or Abstinence Education over the summer. Even if just for one encounter, making the effort to be a presence is always worth it. You never know who you might meet.

Today at the clinic there was a young man carrying a little boy, maybe 2 or 3 years old. The young man was with his girlfriend, or sister, and the boy was apparently his son or nephew. But he was clearly distraught, and came to stand with our group for a while, as the young lady he came with was inside the clinic. He just stood there listening to us, maybe even praying with us--I couldn't tell--holding the little boy, and he became emotional as he talked to one of our sidewalk counselors. He stood there until the end of our rosary, and then went to his car to wait for the young lady.

I don't presume to know his story, or what stuggles he is going through with the girl and the young boy, but I do know that as he stood there with us, I was praying for him, and his family, and for the strength he needed to do the right thing. It's encounters like these that slap you in the face, in a way, and make you seriously question everything you think you know. No matter how bad you think you have it, someone has is worse, and when God grants you the grace of encountering those people, you are forced to re-examine your life, and thank Him for all the blessings He has given you, in particular the blessing of being able to meet these people.

Something I've learned that I think everyone should realize is that no event ever arrived without surprise, and an element of the unknown. Were the Jews expecting their God to become a man in the womb of a fourteen year old girl? Were they expecting Him to be born in a stable and grow up in the working class? Were they expecting Him to suffer and die a criminal's death? None of them expected this, and yet it was the greatest event in history. So we should learn to expect the unexpected, or at least be open to it. Events more often than not come to us as surprises--we do not expect them. But if we are open to them, they can be the greatest graces or encounters of all. Every event in our lives has a meaning, because they come from Christ, who is the Event of History.

Even when I am given these events, these encounters, I am always surprised by them. Because who would have expected to see Christ in the face of a young man at the abortion clinic? And who would have expected to touch the head of Christ on a sleeping three year old boy? No one expected it, but it happened, a great event of today. And that is why every day is precious, and why every moment should be lived fully, because we live for love of something happening now: the love of Christ, which is all around us, if we let it be.

In Search of Certainty

So for some reason this did not post last week when I wrote it, so it's kind of old, but I hope you enjoy it all the same.

*************************************

This past weekend (Sept 2-3) I was blessed to be able to go on the CL Family Vacation in Nacogdoches, Texas. Emad and I left at 5:30 am on Saturday (he drove down the night before) and we got back here (UD) at 2am on Monday.

As with any CL vacation or function, I was overwhelmed by the complete charity of these people that love the presence of Christ in each person, and even if I only see them once or twice a year--or even if I am meeting them for the first time--I feel such a deep connection to them. They become my best friends, because of our connection in the person of Christ, in our community, in this amazing friendship guided by destiny.

So the main thing I took away from the lessons was the concept of certainty, that is, having a certainty about your life that you find in faith; faith in a person, in Christ and in the people who show us Christ.Having this certainty means being able to say, “Yes, this is what I desire; what I want.” But in order to do that, to be able to say that, we first have to be fully aware of our desire. Our “I” has to be set in the right place, desiring happiness, justice, and freedom. Without this desire, the presence of Christ will not matter to us, even if He were to appear right in front of us.

To live, we need this certainty, but in this life, certainty is one of, if not the, hardest things to achieve. I my own life right now, I am greatly struggling with finding certainty. Adjusting to college life and academics has proved harder than I expected and initially realized. What the lessons on the vacation showed me was that to have certainty, we must recognize our desires. To recognize our desires, we must be fully aware of our “I”, our heart, and use it to judge reality. In judging reality with our heart we live that reality intensely. Once we can discern what is truly in our heart from what the world tells us is in our heart, we see Christ, and in Him we find the certainty we need, and the hope that does not disappoint.

Also, through the people we love we realize a deeper need for an infinite love, and in that infinite love, we are able to love people more deeply, with a love for their destiny, which is the same as our own.

Don’t be afraid to start at the beginning, to start with the desires of your heart. It is a risk—following rules is much easier—but only if you go deeper into whatever you are doing will you find the Mystery who gives us certainty, hope, and love.

God Bless.

Here We Go

Well, tomorrow I finally start classes at the University of Dallas, and I am so excited, so ready, and so nervous. First up is Calc I and then General Physics. In the afternoon is Literary Tradition I and then the Physics lab. Other classes (not tomorrow) are Understanding the Bible and Roman Historians (advanced Latin).

Also today I had an 'audition' for chamber music, and started the process for my music minor. I'm very happy to be able to continue music, so I'll let y'all know how that goes.

Besides school, I'm very very excited for this weekend, because I get to go on the Southwest CL Family Vacation in beautiful Nacogdoches, Texas. I won't be able to stay for all of it, because we have classes on Labor Day, but it will be great to be able to meet and see again all the CL people around here.

So that's pretty much what's up...I'll let you know how classes are going once they're underway.

And I finally got internet set up in my room, so I don't have to haul this thing up to Haggar (University Center).

Take care,

My Last Week at Home

So as most of you know I leave for the University of Dallas on Friday. I'm beyond excited about going to college, and learning, and meeting new people, but I'm also sad to leave behind so many amazing friends, and of course my family. I think that a big part of leaving for college, or going on to any new stage in life, is going to be learning to accept that things are changing, and that God may have bigger plans for us than we have for ourselves. So it all comes back to trusting in Him that everything will work out in His Plan.

Since the last time I wrote I have been on the Midwest CLU vacation, which was amazing. There were so many powerful things that struck me, but one of the best point was that of correspondence. When we meet someone who strikes us, or when we see something true or beautiful, it is actually Christ in them that strikes us, and it is Him who we are attracted to. Our hearts beg for Him and we are given the gift of being able to meet Him in other people. Our heart responds to His Presence and yearns for it all the more. When we meet Christ, we fall in love, and we hang on for dear life, because "He has told me the truth about myself." Even when it is hard to hear, we need to hear the truth about ourselves, and Christ tells us. If we are willing to listen.

I don't know if I'll post again before I get to Dallas, but I will be keeping in touch and letting you all know what I'm up to. So good luck to all of you going back to school, and thank you to all of my friends...you know who you are.

God Bless

Clairity on "The Kite Runner"

A short but meaningful review of my favorite novel this summer, The Kite Runner at Clairity's Place.

If you haven't read the book yet, do so!

“In order to find God in ourselves, we must stop looking at ourselves, stop checking and verifying ourselves in the mirror of our own futility, and be content to be in Him and to do whatever He wills, according to our limitations, judging our acts not in the light of our own illusions, but in the light of His reality which is all around us in the things and people we live with.”

Thomas Merton No Man Is An Island

"For You, a Thousand Times Over"

I've been putting off writing about The Kite Runner for a while, because I know that I could never do it justice. So I've decided just to write about it, and say whatever comes to mind. I'm still working on my scholarly essay about it, but as you all know, that could be a while. So you're stuck with this.

Khaled Hosseini's The Kite Runner was first published in 2003, and I can't believe that I had not heard of it for three years. Why has it taken me so long to read this book? I came across it only because it is the summer read of CL, and my dad bought it and brought it home. I picked it up, and off and on for the next two or three days, I was consumed by this amazing novel.

The debut of Afghanistan-born Hosseini, now a physician in California, The Kite Runner chronicles the lives and relationship of two boys from Afghanistan in the mid-1970's. It reads more like a memoir than a novel, taking us at times into the very soul of Amir, the narrator. At times heartbreaking, at times uplifting, but ultimately redemptive, this book is so powerful that more than once while I was reading I had to stop because I could not see the words--they were being blurred by my tears.

I was so unprepared for the impact that this book had on me, and I still think about it and talk about it nearly every day since I finished it. I don't know how many people I've recommended it to, but I believe that everyone should read it.

What was most memorable and powerful about this book was the unwavering realism it sustained throughout all its 400 pages. Everything that Amir and his friend Hassan experience, I felt that I experienced. The decisions that each of them made, I felt that I had to make. This is especially true for the character of Amir, because since he is telling the story from his point of view, I can literally feel every emotion that he describes. It makes you search yourself, and ask yourself what kind of person you are. Would you do the same in Amir or Hassan's place?

One of the central points of the book is how Amir's relationship with his father affects his relationship with Hassan. Amir and his father, Baba, are very wealthy, and Hassan and his father are their servants. Hassan's father, Ali, and Baba grew up together, and Amir and Hassan are growing up in much the same way. Amir would do anything to please his father, and this is the deciding factor in many of the crucial decisions he makes, especially the ones involving Hassan. I can't expand very much more on the plot without giving things away to those of you who have not read it, but I will say that Amir sets in motion a series of events that essentially cripple his life for the next twenty-six years.

Though we are told the story entirely from Amir's perspective, we are also drawn in by the character of Hassan, who is this novel's Christ figure. While Amir takes us primarily on a journey of redemption, Hassan takes us on a journey of love. He says to Amir, "for you, a thousand times over!" and this lines echoes twice more in the book, connecting Amir's destiny with Hassan's. Hassan is completely selfless; he never stops giving, even after he and Amir have parted. This is the path Amir struggles to find--the road that will lead him to forgiveness, peace, and eventually a changed heart that only wants to give, the kind of heart that he first experienced in knowing Hassan.

In the end (though I won't tell you the actual ending--you need to read this book for yourself!) Amir, who grew up being served, has learned how to serve others. He knows that what mistakes he made in the past have been forgiven, and this allows him to be able to forgive himself.

Though none of the main characters are Christians, this book resonates deeply with Christian messages, namely, love and forgiveness. Such things can never be too often written about, and talked about, and read about. Most of us are probably more like Amir than we would care to admit, but we constantly struggle to become like Hassan. Sometimes giving of ourselves hurts, and sometimes it seems like what we do is of no consequence anyway. But there is always a reason, because God has it all worked out in His plan. And we can only stand in wonder, and with our arms open say to Him and to those around us: "for You, a thousand times over."

A Modern Day Fairy Tale

I just saw one of the most refreshingly original movies that I've seen in a long time. It was Lady in the Water, M. Night Shyamalan's new film.

I'm actually writing this post in response to Barbara Nicolosi's recent comments on the movie, because I completely, wholeheartedly, and most passionately disagree with every word she wrote about Lady in the Water, M. Night Shyamalan, and his other films. I have never been disappointed by a Shyamalan movie, and this one was no exception.

Lady in the Water does more than stimulate our imaginations. It challenges them, and takes them back into the realm of fairy tales. We've all heard fairy tales, or bedtime stories, at some point in our lives, and this movie proves that we're never too old to hear them. Every story with a meaning is worth hearing, and everything worth hearing has a meaning. The allegories and hidden messages of this story are woven into almost every scene, just as in any classic fairy tale.

Fairy tales are usually meant for kids, to entertain them, to teach a lesson, or to highlight some aspect of humanity. The best fairy tales were created by the imagination for the imagination, and they always have a deeper meaning than what is first heard or seen. In every good story, whether fantasy, fiction, or real life, there is a message, an inner-meaning, a truth to be seen and shared.

The message of Lady in the Water is simple but profound (and obviously a bit too deep for today's critics). Everyone is connected. Everyone has a purpose. It is up to each person to find their purpose and to do their part for the common good. The people around us are each unique and powerful. Everyone wants to be someone, and to matter. To be loved and remembered.

The fact that so few people appreciate Shyamalan's genius is very sad, because the fact that almost no critic can see the purpose of Lady in the Water tells me that America has lost its imagination and its sense of wonder. I'm sorry to pick on Ms. Nicolosi again, but for someone to say Lady in the Water is "monstrously bad storytelling," and then call The Devil Wears Prada one of the best movies of 2006 shows the sad fact that originality and imagination and hidden meanings and allegories and even fairy tales are no longer appreciated nor wanted.

What would it take for a brilliant movie like Lady in the Water to resonate with our hearts? Well, it's a fairy tale, a bedtime story, and those kinds of stories are usually written for kids. How does a child perceive fairy tales? Don't they look at them with the open imagination and mindset that anything is possible and that some things may not be immediately explained? Don't they sometimes see things that eccentric characters reveal about humanity that a philosopher could not? And don't they learn that being who you are is the best way to bring about change and hope...and a happy ending?

Maybe we need to be like kids again to be able to feel a resonance with movies like Lady in the Water. Maybe we have become so used to being handed the meaning when we watch a movie that we have forgotten how to look for it and find it ourselves. Maybe we've forgotten how to listen, and to wonder.

Everyone loves a good story, and everyone learns from a good story. And Shyamalan certainly knows how to tell a good story. What I learned from this movie is that even the most seemingly insignificant person can change the world, and we can experience incredible things if we just believe. But most importantly, we can find great support in our communities, because each person plays a part in the lives of the people around them. Man cannot make it on his own.

And learning from stories is sometimes the best way to find out who you are.

The New Church of the Masses

"Theatres are the new Church of the Masses--where people sit huddled in the dark listening to people in the light tell them what it is to be human."(1930's theatre critic)

I got this quote from Barbara Nicolosi's blog, and I used it today because last night, or this morning rather, I truly experienced the new "Church of the Masses."

My sister and I went to the midnight showing of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, and while the movie was all in all fairly entertaining, it wasn't spectacular, or life-changing, and to be perfectly honest, like any other inner-meaning-less action movie, I'm going to forget it by next week. What I really took away from it, though, and the point of me writing about it, was the experience of simply being there.

I mean, it's the midnight showing; these people are either die-hard fans, parents who don't want their children out late by themselves, people who want to hang out with their friends (my sister), or people who go so that their sister can go (me). Needless to say, the movie was sold out to a 90% die-hard category audience. Now, I have to admit, I did not see the first "Pirates" until over a year after its initial release. Furthermore, I had all but completely forgotten its plot and/or key points. So with a large, highly caffeinated beverage, I sat down to watch the movie amidst a sea of people of all ages in eye patches, fake dreadlocks, and other miscellaneous pirate garb. And I sat there the entire time, because even though after that Dr. Pepper I had to use the restroom like no other, I had a feeling that if I got up and left, I would be bombarded with the fake swords and empty candy boxes of die-hards shouting "How dare you leave! You don't deserve that ticket!"

Keeping in mind that the show was at midnight, some friends of ours had been at the theatre since 8pm. By ten, they said, the theatre was fairly full. My sister and I arrived at 11:15, and I ended up sitting on the edge towards the front. The excitement in the auditorium was tangible, and to see so many people so happy about something, even though it was for a rather over-rated, over-advertised Disney production, made me feel some sort of hope. Hope that somewhere in the hearts of Americans, there is still the ability to live reality intensely.

As I watched these people watching this movie, a thought occurred to me: what movie would I get this excited about seeing? What movie would I completely and voluntarily choose to see at midnight? Maybe if "On the Waterfront" was re-released. Or if someone re-made "Ashes to Light." (*winks at John*) But seriously, I couldn't imagine ever getting so worked up over a movie that I would absolutely have to be the first one (in the general masses) to see it. So on one hand I'm happy that these people have a passion. But on the other I wish that they would have the same sort of passion for things in real life.

I guess what I'm taking a long time to say is that this new Church of the Masses and this new congregation is really the hope of America, in the sense that the art of film has the amazing potential to be used for evangelization. And while "Pirates 2" isn't the best example of people in the light telling us what it is to be human, there are many movies that do. And many movies can and will be made that will tell us. Because we need to be told.

The pulpit of America is a canvas screen, the pews are velour seats with cupholders, and the preacher is a roll of film passing in front of a projector, and this church where we so often go to escape reality is where so many times we end up finding it.

Here's to the great movies. Let them be made and seen.

Today in Acadia

"Just make sure you take it all in. Let yourself be dazzled."
-God to Joan in Joan of Arcadia


You all should read these interviews (links to parts 2 and 3 at the bottom) with the brilliant, the resourceful, the 23 year-old(!) Rocco Palmo.

There's also an article by him at BustedHalo.


I hope you all had a wonderful Independence Day.

God Bless.

Halfway

So if you haven't noticed, today marks the halfway point of 2006. It's hard to believe...